Big Age & Real Friendships

If I am about to walk off a cliff, these ladies and others are going to say something.

I am in a season where I truly value friendship.

Not surface level connection.

Not fake agreement.

Not the kind of friendship where you just nod, smile, and say, “That’s right girl,” even when you know they are completely in the wrong.

I’m talking about real friendship.

The kind where you can be honest.

The kind where truth is spoken, even when it’s hard and uncomfortable.

A family member recently shared how one of her friends was clearly wrong in a situation, but she couldn’t see it. My relative patiently tried to speak wisdom, but it wasn’t received.

Eventually, her friend went silent.

And it made her wonder

Was it the truth she spoke that caused the distance? Or the friend's unwillingness to receive it?

I’ve had moments where I hesitated to tell a friend the truth. Not because I didn’t care, but because I did.

What if they reject me?

What if they don’t like what I say?

What if truth costs the friendship?

But the Bible reminds us that real friendship is not built on comfort.

It is built on truth.

The Word says, “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another” — Proverbs 27:17.

And it also says, “Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful” — Proverbs 27:6.

And before that, it tells us that "Open rebuke is better than love carefully concealed" Proverbs 27:5

This  means real friendship isn’t always comfortable but it is always beneficial.

At this stage in my life… at my big age… I don’t just need friends who love me.

I need friends who will tell me when I’m wrong.

Don’t high-five me into destruction.

 Don’t okay behavior that’s taking me off course.

Love me enough to say something and give me permission to say something when I see you delving off course.

I need friends who will say: “Hey sis… you’ve been impatient lately. What’s going on?”

Friends that will say:

“Girl, your words haven’t been full of faith, what’s up with that?” 

Friends who can discern the difference between when I need to vent, exhale, let things out and when I need to be corrected. Because sometimes I do need to get things out.

 But I also need someone to lovingly say:

 “Girl, you’ve circled that mountain long enough. It’s time to go another direction.”

My husband said something that stayed with me:

Correction doesn't always feel good but at this big age....it's necessary.

 Love sees and love says something.

If you see someone heading toward a cliff, love doesn’t stay silent.

Love warns. 

Love speaks.

 Love reaches.

Love says: “Hey friend… if you keep going down that path, it’s going to hurt you. It’s going to impact your family. It’s going to interfere with what God is trying to do in your life.”

That’s love.

I remember seeing a friend's social media post about engaging in a New Age practice. This friend had grown up in the church and had experienced traumatic events right after each other. Now she was highlighting a new age practice that would cause more harm than good.

In love, I reached out to her privately and shared scripture and words of wisdom about her practice. Her response was clipped but ended with an "I love you too."

Although my friend didn't jump with joy at my expression of love woven with gentle correction, I had done what I would want someone to do to me.

Tell me the truth.

Tell me with love.

Tell me privately and don't embarrass me.

Her response after hearing the truth would now be up to her and God.

Every morning at 6:00am, a group of us join the Jewel Warrior Prayer Line, no matter where we are—in bed, the gym, on the go, we show up.

We pray.

 We listen.

 We speak life.

And sometimes… we correct each other.

There have been moments where sisters from this prayer line have counseled me, cautioned me, and covered me in prayer. Private conversations. Voice notes. Encouragement. Prophetic insight.

Not to tear me down—but to build me up.

And my prayer is this:

Lord, let me be humble. Lord, help me  to be teachable. 

Lord help me to receive correction. Because correction from the right person with the right heart is a gift.

So the question is:

Can a friend tell you the truth? And can you receive the truth without being offended or defensive?

It’s easy to say we want honesty but harder to embrace it when it confronts us.

I want friends who will tell me the truth—with love (that part is important).

Friends that will share truth not in a harsh way, but also not silent either.

Sometimes I have blind spots and I need people in my life who love me enough to help me see.

At this stage of my life, I’m not interested in shallow relationships. I’m at a big age where I need mature friendships. 

Surface friendships have had their place in my life, but in this season they don’t produce the fruit that I am looking to be birthed from my fruit tree. I want to bear beautiful, God-glorifying fruit and I need the truth to fertilize my roots.

At this moment in my life, I welcome real, authentic friendships.

Friendships where I can fully be myself, and friendships where women can be themselves as well. We accept each other, we love each other, we pray for each other, and when necessary we challenge each other.

And I’m grateful—because God is bringing that into my life, and if you desire that too, I invite you to join us every day at 6:00 AM CST for the Jewel Warrior Prayer line.

Hi, my name is Kacie Starr Long. I am an author, and speaker and I love to use my voice to point people to Jesus. When I'm not writing, I'm either hanging out with my husband or sewing. God delivered me from food addiction and I have a sewing ministry, called the Sew Hope . I am the proud wife of Alfred T. Long, Sr and together we lead a non-profit that provides services for those battling substance abuse and those impacted by incarceration. Connect with me at www.InspiredOverflow.com and via my YouTube page for Christian teachings and encouragement.

PS Friends: I've recently published a NEW book called War On the Floor. This book is for those with a loved one who is deep in addiction. It's a collection of prayers to help you remain focused and strengthened as you believe God for breakthrough. There is truly power in prayer! Order your copy today.