By: Kacie Starr Long
I've written several times here about believing God for a child.
For whatever reason, at least up until this point, my body has not been able to conceive a child. I've talked to doctors, had surgery, prayed, and have had hands laid upon me during special, healing services, yet for whatever reason I have been unable to conceive a child.
Early in my marriage, it really bothered me about being unable to conceive. I couldn't understand why it was so hard for me to get pregnant. I remember awakening early one morning, it was 2:00 AM, and I was so upset about my state of infertility, that I stumbled into my prayer room and cried out to God in anguish and frustration. I thought, "This is how Hannah from the Bible must have felt" as groaning and moaning escaped from my lips, interspaced between my prayers in English and in tongues.
That was years ago, and although Al and I are still standing in faith and believing in God for children, I am learning to take the lid off of the box I have placed God in and allow Him room to fulfill my prayer request in the way He sees best.
You see, for a long time I have had a very limited and narrow perspective on how God could and should bring children into my and Alfred's life. For years, I have prayed and prayed that God would supernaturally heal my body so that I would one day conceive and birth twins. I believe God has heard my prayers, and until I die or God tells me to no longer believe, I will continue to ask for supernatural healing in my body. The difference now is, that while I stand and believe in faith for healing in my body, I have also increased my faith to believe and trust God to bring children into my life, in whatever way HE sees fit.
God has used infertility as a thorn (or blessing, depending on one's perspective) as a provoking instrument to not limit God, and open my mind and heart, allowing God space and freedom to fulfill His promise in whatever way He deems appropriate. No longer am I limiting God to just one way to bring forth my blessing.
Perhaps you have been like me, and have had tunnel vision when it comes to God's
manifested blessing. Perhaps you have eyed a specific job promotion, a future spouse, or special healing for your child...and if God doesn't materialize the blessing in the exact way you envisioned it, then you believe God has failed.
I want to challenge you to take God out of the box you have placed Him in.
I want to encourage you to think bigger. To allow space in your heart and mind for God to do more and be more, and to bless you more than you can ask or think. Will you give God the freedom to bless you in the way He sees fit? This doesn't mean you have to throw away your faith, or disregard how and what you have been believing God to do in your life --- but will you allow your mind to conceptualize that if God doesn't do 'it' (whatever your 'it' is) it just means He has another way, or plan to bless you and it will be for your good.
I heard a preacher say one day, that if you can't trace God -- that when you don't understand what He is doing...will you at least trust His heart?
For the life of me, I can't understand why I have battled with infertility, but one thing I know is that God is good. Even when I don't understand, I trust God's heart toward me. God is good. He loves me and He loves you. Like me, you may not understand why God hasn't answered your prayers, but will you trust His heart and receive the good things He has for you, in the way He wants to present them to you?
Recently, Al and I asked a grandmother, who is raising her grandson if we could serve as her grandson's Godparents. We want to be in his life, and help her physically and spiritually support this young boy that will one day do great exploits for God. We are so thankful that she and he have agreed to allow us in their lives! Al and I are also monthly sponsors to a child in Africa who has a parent incarcerated. This is another way we are able to pray and support a child in need. Additionally, God has shown again and again, that although I may not have birthed children, through marriage I have three adult children and three grandchildren, and I am someone called to intercede for them and cover them in prayer. Plus, there are children who hold a special place in my heart from my time as a church planter, campus pastor, and owner of Sew Hope. God has used each of these experiences to bring children into my life, and even though I haven't birthed them, God has birthed them in my heart to love them and pray for them. Some I haven't seen for years, but the spirit knows no distance, and I tell you, I cover those kids regularly!
I share these examples to encourage you to widen your net. You may be looking for one way for God to send forth a blessing, but He literally has numerous lanes and channels to bring forth multiple blessings. Let's make the decision to no longer limit God, and trust His love for us. That if the blessing has not come in the way we imagined it, to not lose faith but to widen our faith trusting God knows just what we need, and how to get it to us.
Hi, my name is Kacie Starr Long. I am an author, speaker and I love to use my voice to point people to Jesus. When I'm not writing, I'm either working out at Orange Theory Fitness or sewing. God delivered me from food addiction and I have a sewing ministry, called the Sew Hope Community Sewing Room . I am the proud wife of Alfred T. Long, Sr and together we lead a non-profit that serves prisoners and their families. Connect with me at www.InspiredOverflow.com and via my YouTube page for Christian teachings and encouragement.